Moments in Life
by bread pan
Summary: HE knew from the start what his alice meant...for him...and for his life. NatsuKan


**Moments in Life**

A/N: Alrighty, so as to clear things, I (Kyou-yuki chiri aka kohana28) own this fic and it was actually on my own account before but I decided to place this fic in our joint account!

Chapter 1: Contradicting

..::( - )::..

……………………………………………………………………………………………...

He wants to hold her…but he moved his hands. He wants to look at her eyes…but he averted his gaze. He wants to be with her…but he stayed away.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"What's your problem?" A shrill voice rang in his ears as he tried not to flinch when he noted the barely noticeable sharp edge in her usually cheery voice.

There she was, standing in front of his seated form, clutching his favorite manga under his usual spot on the cherry blossom tree.

Her small heart face was somehow scrunched up with her eyebrows drawn close together. It appears that she was absolutely angry about something as her face was in a light shade of red too. Somehow, the sight of her _angry_ amused him and strangely he found it…cute.

_Stop!_

"You." He replied coldly, his ruby eyes cold and face unfathomable as he forced himself to look at her shocked face. It seemed that she couldn't believe what she just heard.

The wind blew softly against them as the air around them somehow became colder.

"What?" Mikan replied meekly, hurt evident in her tone. Her hazel eyes were brimming with unshed tears as he looked away, his heart nearly breaking at the sight.

_He HAS to do this!_

"Natsume, I'm trying okay? I'm trying very hard to understand you. Why won't you just open up? We're ---"

"—your friends. I know." Natsume finished for her as he tried to calm his nerves and gather enough courage, enough strength to face her, just one more time and try to discourage her yet again.

'_The less you have to do with me…' _

"R-right! So, why don't you trust us?" Her quivering voice made him sick in the stomach as his short eyebrows met in an angry line.

'_. . the better it is…for you anyway.'_

"And that's good enough for me. You don't need to intrude in things that you have no business of." Natsume stated, managing a glare in her direction briefly. He watched her stiffen slightly as she tried to compose herself.

'_Why won't you just give up already?'_

"Why don't you trust _me_? We can help you! _I _can help you! If you could just ---" Mikan blabbered as she ignored his earlier statement. That statement, which almost broke her heart in pieces.

But she knew she has to stay strong.

'_He needs us!'_

"Enough! I have had enough of you talk Polka dots, why don't you just scram and leave me alone?" Natsume interrupted harshly as he stood up and dusted himself. Watery hazel eyes followed his every move as she bit her lip, trying to calm herself.

Once Natsume was done, he turned his back to her, placing his manga in his back pocket as prepared to go.

"B-b-but ... Wait! Natsume!"

'_I'm sorry…'_

Natsume clenched his fists inside his pockets as he tried not to turn around at her pleading voice. His brows furrowed even more as he started to walk away … from her.

"Natsume!!!"

She was calling out to him. She was trying to reach out.

But he couldn't let her do that. He couldn't let her get under him. He can't just bring down the walls he had built all those years of his miserable life just because of her.

He built those walls for a reason after all. He could not let people get close to him. Except maybe for Ruka, who was his best friend but even in him, Natsume built his certain boundaries.

It was the only way he knew on how to protect those precious persons.

No matter how much she affects him. No matter how much he denies.

He knew that in the end he has no choice but to face the truth.

'_I'm really sorry…'_

"Don't follow me." The raven haired boy said harshly when his keen ears heard that familiar pitter-patter of feet indicating that she was indeed following him.

Mikan immediately froze in her tracks, her eyes widening again, as her lips trembled. She could only watch helplessly as Natsume walked with certain strides as he always did and with a certain air of confidence and mystery he always brought about.

'_Oh, Natsume. I'll never understand you.'_

..::( - )::..

R & R


End file.
